Unlike most of our readings so far, “My Son, the Prince of Fashion” by Michael Chabon shared a story of true ownership of one’s identity. Michael’s son, Abe, has for as long as he could remember loved fashion and clothes. He would dress up to school wearing nice, well put together outfits, despite unwanted comments from classmates regarding his clothes. Abe was an excellent example of being so proud and unapologetic about your identity that the things that others say have no effect anymore. One of the quotes that represented this bravery and ownership especially well was, “His clothes were not on the outside of his body; they were—for now—the outside of his body. They were the visible form taken by the way he chose to define himself” (Chabon). To me, this is what true acceptance of one’s identity looks like. Being so unapologetically yourself and embracing every difference and uniqueness that you reflect your identity in the way you look. Most people (including myself) can find it difficult to truly express an identity to the world from our appearances rather than to appeal or conform to others. But this to me is what true embracing and self-acceptance can look like.

After reading Bad Feminist by Roxanne Gay, I noticed a majority of her points were ones that I believed but never really knew how to to put to words. Gay discusses not only feminism and it’s importance, but also the backwards motion that certain feminist ideals have put women in. She does an excellent job at pointing out the categorization that comes with the label of being a “feminist” and why these labels and stereotypes are harmful for women with the goal of gender equality in mind. Gay recognizes that modern day feminism has fallen into a strict ideal with right and wrong ways to be a feminist. A perfect representation of this was when Gay stated, “The most significant problem with essential feminism is how it doesn’t allow for the complexities of human experience or individuality. There seems to be little room for multiple or discordant points of view” (Gay pg 2). Gay wonderfully examines the ideals of a modern feminist and how these set characteristics are exactly what women were working away from but eventually came full circle. Women are complex and intelligent and every single one is different but when we start to box ourselves into these categories and perfect representations, we lose sight of that complexity. In today’s day and age, being a feminist has developed a different meaning: successful women who power through life and reject all aspects of being a “traditional” woman. An angry, loud, enthusiastic, all-or-nothing woman who works harder than others and lets nothing get in her way. But not everyone wants to or has the opportunity to do so. Gay asserts a powerful idea that if this is how feminists are supposed to act and present themselves as, then that makes me a bad feminist. Feminism shouldn’t revolve around perfection and success but liberation. Women today are still working towards basic ideas like equal pay and treatment in the workplace, fair action surrounding abuse and sexual assault in the justice system and overall, as she words it, not being treated like shit. I myself have always questioned where I stand in the world of feminists and whether or not I fit into the ideal Gay describes. After reading Bad Feminist, I’m starting to realize that maybe I shouldn’t worry so much about fitting into those ideals. I’d like to say this piece made me even more of a true feminist, but maybe that’s not what one should be aiming for at all. Perhaps I’m okay with being a bad feminist.

In the article “America Ruined My Name For Me”, Beth Nguyen discusses the importance of names and the power or as she found, weakness they can hold. In America, her Vietnamese name was not only odd, but followed by laughter and ridicule from everyone she met. When recalling personal experiences of hers, she writes how she often had Americans encouraging her to keep her name and how it was “special”. In the article, Nguyen describes the strong emotions she felt during these moments: “I wanted to believe them; for a long time, I made a choice to believe them. But I knew, too, that they liked the exotic so long as they didn’t have to deal with its complications” (Nguyen). America has long had the image of a “melting pot” where people of all identities, races, cultures and more could come together in a place where they were accepted. But often the acceptance of white Americans is still followed by judgement and ridicule because while we encourage diversity, we hold a power over what is considered “acceptable”. These examples are often awed at as “exotic” and “unique” but when it comes down to it, these people wouldn’t subject themselves to it, knowing that others (just like themselves) wouldn’t fully accept it. Names can have beautiful, complex meanings but in a place where only certain meanings are accepted, those that don’t fit the standard are considered lesser or even strange.